Believed She Could…So She Did

I’ve made a list and I’m working it. There are all the things I need to ensure fit in the pack. But there is also the housekeeping of life that needs to be wrapped up before next Friday.

Paying bills. Getting things set up so they work automatically. Jeff shouldn’t have to worry about any of it.

Our builders are coming on September 15th to start ripping things apart. I feel sure (ok, I’m assuming) they will expect to be paid while I’m away. I’m the money, so it’s my job to make sure it’s in the correct place when they pull the trigger. Executing this from the Camino would be more effort than I’m willing to tackle. Best to take care of it now.

Then there are all the new colorful meds I want to make sure I have on me. Just in case. And photos of the boxes in the event a refill at a farmacia in one town or village is necessary.

I’ve decided that my focus of the Camino will be mind and body. Although, it may end up being something else entirely. It surprised me last time. But in support of that theme I’ve downloaded some meditation and mindfulness apps. And I’m looking forward to quieting the mind.

But on the other side of the spectrum, I plan on using the time to improve my Spanish. Not only by doing some lessons, but also by trying to only speak Spanish as much as I possibly can. This will be the opposite of a quiet mind. 😳

And then, there are all the talismans. The charms to bring me luck and to protect me along the way. My Icelandic bracelet with the Viking rune for courage. My Sargadelos charm to ward against ‘people who will imbue you with their own fears’. Seems like both are important to have as I make my way alone. And the ribbon of all the towns along the Camino Frances. It matches the one Emilie has. I will think of her all along the way. Missing my Camino buddy.

And finally, I laced up my new boots and added my old boot charms. The ones that will see me through any eventuality. They always have. Whenever I am unsure on the road ahead. Which way to turn or what to do, I just have to look down.

She believed she could…So she did

In the end, I know that all these lists, packing and unpacking, and the rest are just distractions. Something to focus on in the days before I leave.

Am I a little nervous starting this journey? Yes. I have never done it alone before. And with all that has happened over the past year, I don’t think it’s an unreasonable emotion. But then, I remember that first night in St Jean Pied de Port last time. Emilie had gone to sleep in her bunk, but I was wide awake. Nervous energy. I went outside on the balcony and I looked up at the sky. The entire town was silent and you could reach out and touch the stars. Holding my arms out wide I said to the universe ‘I have no idea what’s in store for me on this journey. I’m a little afraid. But I’m open to whatever it is.’

That simple act changed everything. So while my head thinks it knows what lies ahead, in my heart I know the Camino will work her magic, as she does on all who choose to walk. And now, as then, however it comes out, I’m open.