Not Forgotten

Warning if you have a queasy stomach.

No matter your circumstance, you can always find someone who is either better off, or worse off, than you. It’s just how the world works. While Jeff and I had to struggle with our health over this last stretch, we are hearing of people we know who have been very ill and braved sickness alone in quarantine. They were just too afraid to go to a hospital, and I can relate to that. So while our situation was difficult – we had each other for support for most of it.

So many people who live solo have had to manage their health alone. And it’s a scary time when perhaps your decision making isn’t always the most objective. If you take a turn for the worse, there is no one on hand to help or provide perspective.

Our landlord reached out. He said there have been reports in the building of a terrible smell. He asked if we have experienced this and we have. We weren’t sure what it was but it’s gotten worse and worse. I’ve smelled gas leaks in my time – it wasn’t that. Still, I figured we wouldn’t use the barbecue until it went away. But it wasn’t going away.

The weather has gotten warmer, so now that our windows are closed and our AC is on, we only smell it in the common areas going to the elevator or doing laundry on the kitchen balcony. But its not good. So today, they will be going apartment by apartment to check on each resident. The prospect of this and what it means is a bit alarming. It’s clear they believe that someone has passed away – without anyone knowing. And it makes me terribly sad.

They did a great job during our quarantine to sanitize the building on a weekly basis. Each time they certified the decontamination of the premises in the elevator and posted when the next cleaning would be on the front door and in the lobby. It did provide a level of comfort. But as we know, the virus had already wormed it’s way into our walls. So they could pour Clorox all over and it wouldn’t have helped us. But still, it will make me so sad if it claimed more people than we knew in our building.

I guess the one thing that can be considered an upside is that for whomever has died – up to 30 people could now attend their funeral. While they may have been alone when they passed, it will now be possible in Phase 1 to celebrate their life, even in a small way. Only a week ago this wouldn’t have been allowed in Valencia.

It’s such a surreal time. When you think about our daily concerns – and most of ours have returned to the more mundane – they pale when something like this happens. In July, when we reach the new normality, I will head to our local church and light some candles and say a prayer. For those who have suffered and those who have passed, especially alone. So they will know they were not forgotten.