Uuuuhhh…

I know I was disappointed last week by Valencia City staying in Phase 0 of deescalation, as so much of the rest of the country moved to Phase 1. But it was just announced that we are moving to Phase 1 of deescalation on Monday, May 18th. For those of you who remember – May 18, 1980 is engraved on any North-westerner’s brain in the US, who was alive on that day. It’s the day Mt. St. Helens erupted. And now, for us, this will be an equally monumental day. Not really.

What we weren’t aware of, as this new, confusing, and freer reality of the highly coveted Phase 1 is on the horizon, is that it’s fraught with contradictions. Rules that circle around on each other and are making the law enforcement authorities Cray Cray. I am pretty sure we need to hire an Abogado to review this new social contract and advise us on the Do’s and Don’ts.

Phase 1 rules

Walking and sport schedules of Phase 0 remain in force. We can only walk from 6-10 am or 20-23 pm. Terraces of bars and restaurants can open at 50% capacity on their outside tables – but there is no limit to when and how long we can go and sit there. As long as we’re not walking. Jeff laughed when I told him.

‘So on Monday morning we’ll be at el horno first thing – and just park there for the entire day?’ He asked.

I know he’s being sarcastic but for a moment I considered it as a viable possibility.

Bicyclists can only ride their bikes for sport during the adult walking time slots. But during Phase 1, if we ride our bikes to visit family or go to a bar and sit on the terrace, we can ride at will, all day long. Basically, if you ride with no where to go, they will limit your riding time. But if you know where you’re going you can ride like the wind to France, if you can prove force majeuer.

Stores with less than 400 sq meters can open without appointments now – but if the store is larger than 400 sq meters they can open freely if they put up ribbons keeping people from merchandise outside the 400 meters. Which just makes social distancing more difficult.

We can go to the beach – if its within 1 km of our home – no exceptions. And we can walk freely and cycle on the promenade by the sea during the time slots. But if we ride our bike from our home to the beach, we can go further than 1 km and stop at a beach side cafe for as long as we like. But while we’re at the beach we can’t sit, lay, or sun bathe on the sand. But we can go swimming in certain areas of the sea as we rapidly traverse the sand to get to the water and back.

I’d print out all the rules and laminate them onto a wallet sized card but it’s too many IF/THEN statements, producing results shouting ‘Web Page Not Found’. I’m pretty sure we’ve identified that the person who wrote the DGT written driving exam crafted the rules for Spanish deescalation. And all bets are off when we move to Phase 2.

I will not complain. It’s progress. But at this point I don’t really know how we could NOT be both in total compliance and in glaring violation of the new rules of Phase 1, simultaneously. Jeff is so excited. We’re going to be able to go for a drive together out in the countryside, between departments within the province. While wearing masks, because there is more than one person in the car. But without masks because we are members of the same household. Or we think that’s allowed. But it’s probably not – unless we have somewhere specific in mind, go there, swim solo or in crowds of less than 10 in a mountain stream, and then sit on the terrace of a bar in a village, 2 meters from other people, for as long as we want. And if we bring our bicycles? We can do almost anything! I think. Its all definitely, totally allowed. Or Not. And I love it!