Stupid Is As Stupid Does

I wanted to leave you all with something positive tonight. Something that would lift your spirits and make you smile as you lay your your weary quarantined head on a pillow- or as they’re calling it in Silicon Valley California at 1pm today – Sheltering In Place.

I tried. I really tried. But after a hard day of naps, yes – some writing, and more naps, I came up empty. Just a shell of my former self. No positivity. No sayings from Gandi or Deepak Chopra.

And then I checked Twitter and this kicked a little gas in the tank. Under the heading of Stupid is as Stupid Does these wretched individuals in the most loathsome place in Espana – no, the planet – had me sitting in a serious snit!

Benidorm is an armpit of an arsehole sort of place. Its a city 2 hours down the coast of Valencia. But still in the Valencia Communidad (region). I wrote a scathing piece about it late last year. Not all my readers enjoy my caustic take on this isle of the British Empire. But its time for a little cold vindication.

Most people around here are following the lock down. We do not leave the building except to see a Dr. Police and army are patrolling the streets to ticket (its up to a €600,000 fine) and jail repeat offenders. Helicopters have been flying back and forth helping them out.

If you’re Valencian you’re cold this time of year. We wear down and fleece with scarves. But watch what’s going on in Benidorm today. Brits playing the ‘We’re British and we’re special and we’re in Benidorm. Its not really Spain’ card.. Notice anything different here?

It’s 10 am as this is happening, and they’re drunk and barely clad. And its a whole herd of them. Not just one bad apple. And by the by, the whole freaking country is on lockdown!! Like a State of Emergency where all the police and the army are on our streets. The private hospitals have been requisitioned by the Health Ministry. The entire country is on their balconies cheering for those risking their lives for us all.

These assholes can’t seem to grasp the magnitude of what we’re dealing with. But its no surprise. Just look at their fearless leader, Boris-without-a-single-clue, who himself cant wrap his Oxford educated brain around the concept of a global pandemic and what it will mean for the actual people, and by people I mean humans, in his own country.

So I was thrilled to watch the Spanish forces round them up like errant cows broken lose from a pasture. Oh, if only they’d had cattle prods the visual experience would have been complete. I surely hope each one of them was ticketed with the largest fines possible and summarily deported and banned from Spanish soil.

Jesus Christ! Some people. But I guess I lied. After watching this again I realized I did give you an uplifting and inspiring end to the day. Cause nothing make me happier than seeing Bad Behaving Benidormites held to account. Sleep Well, All. I know I will. Namaste 🙏